The 20 worst foods in America

Please proceed with caution. Just by reading this list you may feel your waistline expand.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21838237/?pg=1#TDY_20WorstFoods

Oh..

and Happy New Year.

I'm bored as all get out.

Sure. Why not?

This quiz was a stumble onto a libertarian website so I take it all with a grain of salt. I do agree that I am in the middle on most issues and lean more and more to not giving a crap. Let's hear it for change! Wait, what? Nothing will change? Not even a little bit? Oh. I see. Carry on, America.

http://www.theadvocates.org/quizp/index.html

The RED DOT on the Chart shows where you fit on the political map.

Your PERSONAL issues Score is 60%.
Your ECONOMIC issues Score is 70%.

According to your answers, the political group that agrees with you most is...

CENTRISTS espouse a "middle ground" regarding government control of the economy and personal behavior. Depending on the issue, they sometimes favor government intervention and sometimes support individual freedom of choice.

Centrists pride themselves on keeping an open mind,

tend to oppose "political extremes," and emphasize what

they describe as "practical" solutions to problems.

Erin blogs something nerdy, gives self wedgie.

Body Care and Grooming (short)

[The title Body Care and Grooming appears on the screen.]

Joel: Is this an infomercial? Where's Cher?

Servo [as TV announcer]: Body Care! And Grooming! They're cops...

---

[The short opens on a shot of several college-age couples looking lovey-dovey all across campus.]

Narrator: Ah, spring!

Crow [as Narrator]: Filthy, shameful spring!

. . .

Joel: You know, people were whiter back then.

Narrator: When a young man's fancy lightly turns to...

Crow: Underpants.

Narrator: ...Love.

Crow: Oh.

---

[Shot of slovenly girl.]

Narrator: Look at that hair!

Crow: [defensively] I like her hair!

Narrator: And that blouse!

Crow: [lasciviously] I'm looking, I'm looking!

...

[Shot of young man looking disgusted by slovenly girl's appearance.]

Narrator: Sorry, Miss! We're trying to a film about proper appearance, and, well, you're not exactly the kind to make this guy behave like a guy!

Joel: [bitterly] You know, make him want to grope you and paw at you!

...

[The slovenly girl is now immaculately dressed and groomed. The camera starts at her head and slowly pans down.]

Narrator: Look at that hair... that skin... that mouth...

Servo [as Narrator]: Those... n-nose.

...

Servo: We simply took your libido and starched and pressed it!

[formerly slovenly girl walks off, quickly followed by young man]

Joel: [as young man] Hey, I couldn't help but notice how much you look like everybody else!

---

[The camera focuses on a woman with a good appearance. Shortly after, it focuses on a woman looking discomforted and fidgeting around.]

Narrator: Clothes are important. Besides fitting well and looking well, the clothes should be appropriate for the occasion. Wearing inappropriate clothes, like these shoes—

Servo [as the Narrator]: Is immoral.

Narrator: —is a sure way to make yourself uncomfortable... and conspicuous.

Crow: Expressing individualism is just plain wrong.

---

Narrator: Besides accumulating sweat, the skin is also constantly picking up dirt, dust, grit, and other foreign particles.

Crow: Skin sucks.

---

Narrator: One of these is cleansing cream.

Servo [as Narrator]: One of these is nitric acid . Choose wisely.

---

[The short closes with the cleaned-up teens going to bed.]

Narrator: And so... the end of a perfect day.

Joel [as Narrator]: An entire day spent grooming.

. . .

Narrator: And you...

Joel [as Narrator]: Jezebel!

Narrator: ...by following these simple rules of body care and grooming, you too will [have] that quality of appearance, that feeling of well-being, so important to make your dreams of happiness come true.

Crow [as Narrator]: And remember — when you touch yourself, the saints cry. Goodnight.

Watch out for snakes.

Kinda getting the urge to do a post about mutton chops. I don't think it's quite time yet. I still need to collect a few more choice pictures of the glorious facial hair. I do think it is about time for a handlebar mustache though.

Ooh! Even better! A handlebar/mutton chop combo. A Hutton, if you will.


Behold.

Ahhh. Sweet sassafras that's some good bloggin'.

Here's to future cooperation between our organizations!

I have never traveled outside of the U.S. but plan to once I figure out a safe way to be unconscious the entire plane ride. In the meantime I will have to brush up on my foreign languages (as if I know them already) and learn some helpful phrases that I just know I will come across.

If I ever find myself in Russia fumbling for the correct way to tell my dance partner that I can't do the cha cha I'll just reach for Berlitz Russian for Travellers.

I can't do the cha-cha.
Ja ne umeju tantsevatj cha-cha-cha.

I want a specimen of your urine.
Ja vozjmu u vas mochu na analiz.

I'd like to buy a pair of binoculars.
Ja khotel by kupitj binoklj.

I would like some game or fowl.
Ja by vzjal dichi ili ptitsy.

Here's to future cooperation between our organizations!
Za nashe budushchee sotrudnichestvo!

I'd like to go to a Komsomol party.
Ja khotel by pojti na komsomoljskij vecher.

For some more handy phrases in other languages: http://www.zompist.com/thought.html

LOL