Lunch for lazy people.

I had made a promise to myself when I signed up for facebook/twitter/blogger..etc that I would NOT be one of those people who blogged about what they ate for lunch. I'm about to break that promise. Seriously, what I ate was just that good.

In my hands were an avocado and a handful of Wheat Thins when I thought, "Could this be lunch?".

The answer to myself was "Yes. Yes it could."

Quick Guacamole and Sun Dried Tomato and Basil Wheat Thins

Scoop out an avocado and mash it with a fork. If you're a spoon person then go for that. I'm not here to judge. Then squirt a little lemon juice and add a dash of garlic powder. Stir deliciously.

I found that the seasoned crackers worked well with a lighter flavored guacamole. Although I do have to say that I'm pretty sure a chimpanzee snuck into the Nabisco factory and seasoned this batch. Or maybe they hired a monkey for a more diverse environment. Again, I'm not here to judge. Regardless of assumed ape-ery, this was a yummy and easy snack that I felt the need to share.

shown here with Pepsi and straw for extra fanciness.

ME

A   If you were an ANIMAL, what would you be? Aren't we all animals? I suppose if I had to choose I would be a giraffe. No reason.


B   BOOKS: What's on your reading list? I am currently re-reading Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut and plan to tackle Jane Eyre at some point. David Sedaris is always on the list and I have a book of his in my purse at all times. Just in case.


C   COMPULSIVE about anything? Checking the doors at night to make sure they are locked. Sometimes I will have to actually touch the lock to convince myself. On particularly bad nights I will get up out of bed after having the lights already turned off to check again. I wish I could tell you where in the world this compulsion came from.


D   DREAMS - Do you ... dream in color? remember your dreams? keep a dream journal? I do dream in color and tend to have elaborate stories go through my head. I don't keep a journal because if I did they would all just read like this: 
Dreamt I was in high school again. I think. Maybe not. I can't remember.


E   EATING - what's your usual snack? Is coffee a snack?


F   A Few of your FAVORITE Things. Being on a boat, Wine, My car, Making my husband crack up. 


G   GIGGLES! What (or who) makes you laugh? Do you have a good sense of humor?  Lots of things make me laugh. In fact, I am afraid I annoy people with how much I laugh. Tim and the kids make me laugh the most as does Louis C.K. Just, in a different way.


H   major HOT Button: Abortion. I have many thoughts on that issue and if you still want to remain my friend, don't talk to me about it weeks after I gave birth to my first child. Yes, that did happen. I can speak rationally about it now that I am not clouded with postpartum hormones.


I   I am ______________still hungry.


K   Also KNOWN As... Aliases? Screen names? A non de plume perhaps? Mommy or Rin usually.


L   I LOVE ...You.


M   How do you feel about MEETING people? Do it all the time? Rarely? Parties or 1-on-1? I'm a bit reserved at first when meeting new people. I hate first impressions. I can never tell if I'm being an idiot or not.


N   What's the story of your NAME? were you named after anyone? Apparently, my dad was reading T.V. Guide and read Erin Moran's name (Joanie from Happy Days) and liked it. My middle name is an homage to my late grandfather, Murray.


O   OBSERVANT - What's around you right now? What do you see? Guitars, books, bowl of cereal-y milk and other such randomness.


P   Who are the special PEOPLE in your life? LOTS. I'd like to think they know who they are.


Q   Any Little QUIRKs About Yourself: I've revealed my weird lock compulsion and quite frankly feel I've already said too much.


R   What do you like to do for RECREATION? Read. Watch T.V. The usual. I'll get more free time eventually.


S   Do You SING in the Shower? In the car? For your friends? In the car. I'm not much into singing for other people. You know, that whole reservation thing.


T   What's at the Top of your TO DO list?: Today or ever? Today's list is pretty minimal but as far as ever the top would be visit Ireland.


U   Any UNUSUAL Experiences: I once lived in a haunted house. Ask me about sometime.


V   VEGAS, Vienna, Venice, Vladivostok... How far have you traveled? What's your favorite City? The farthest I have traveled is California. I love Chicago and am glad it's only a relatively short distance from me. I'll get back to you on my favorite once I've traveled out of the country.


W   WINTER, Spring, Summer, Fall... What's your favorite season? What makes it special? Fall is my favorite. I love the sound of crunching leaves. Plus, I feel best in clothes where I'm a little more covered up. Not a huge fan of showing off my blindingly white legs.


X   EXes - Things You Don't Do Anymore (but did, once (would you, again?)) I don't smoke anymore. I can't say I miss it.


Y   Any secret/deep YEARNINGS? Ha. Like I would tell you.


Z   ZERO to ZENITH - Where are you in your life? Still growing? On an upward (or downward) curve? Just skating along? I am definitely still growing as a person. I don't think we ever really stop. However, I am very happy with where my life is right now and look forward to continuing the challenges of raising children and maintaining a sane, healthy life.

How to Sneak a Simpsons Quote in Casual (and not so casual) Conversation.

I realize that I am a quote junkie. I find most of my humor stems from various quotes. 68% of them are from The Simpsons. ("Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that.") See?
 

I will show you how to come back with a line from the show for almost any situation. Sit back, relax and learn the art of alienating your friends and loved ones. 

Scenario #1 - Your friend tells you she just got a promotion at her job and is moving away to Albuquerque. She's very excited yet nervous at the prospect of starting her life over again and meeting new friends. It's been a roller coaster of emotions and with a tear in her eye she hugs you and says she is confident you'll remain friends.

You: Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There’s a *New* Mexico?

Scenario #2 You've been dating your significant other for long enough. It's time to call it quits. You sit down at your computer to carefully write out your thoughts and feelings. The break up letter needs to be sensitive and respectful. After several minutes of staring at the blank screen you grab a post it note and jot down your letter.

You:  Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You.

Scenario #3 - Your child is failing Science class. Normally, he is a very bright student and is beating himself up for not doing well in this subject. He says he is afraid that this will affect his chances of getting into a good school. Your son needs all the help he can get so he turns to you, his supportive parent.

You:  Son, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Come back next time when I tell you the surefire way to never be invited to another wedding. Good night!

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Tune in to WZIP for all the quiet you can handle.
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WZIP - "When You Deserve Nothing But The Best"

Grammarama

From theproofreaders.com

Commonly Confused Grammar Test: Which is correct?

10 items or less/10 items or fewer

Go lie down/Go lay down

I could care less/I couldn't care less

Between you and me.../Between you and I...

In the 1930s/In the 1930's

It will take its place/It will take it's place

I'm first, am I not?/I'm first, aren't I?

I'm anxious to see you again/I'm eager to see you again

I'm able to ride a bike/I'm capable of riding a bike

ANSWERS

How did you do?

"Check enclosed"

I wish I could get paid for this. Maybe not exactly "this" as in this blog but becoming a paid writer is up on my list of things to do. I have a screenplay written, numerous sketches, a handful of essays, a children's book character without a written home and a personal blog. I don't need to be paid for any of those. I enjoy creative writing as a whole and don't actively look for a paycheck in that arena. I'm afraid if I made it my job it would ruin it somehow for me. I do however look for pay in business writing. Sprucing up resumes, writing grant proposals and creating press releases are some of the ways I am willing to do this. I see it as working my way through college without shedding my clothes at a stripper pole. It's writing that other people don't want to do and are readily willing to pay someone else to take it off of their hands. Any income I get from freelance writing can be put toward my family and I can finally call myself a working writer.

I'm not saying I don't think I'll ever make money writing creatively but it's an outlet for myself that I like to keep. I equate it to the musician who becomes a rock star and ends up hating his band. I also feel that writing helps me hold on to my sanity. I've always wanted to be a professional "something". I never felt like I had choice because of my educational background (or lack thereof).

And there you have it. My thoughts for the day.

Thanksgiving me a rash

I posted "What I am thankful for" in 2008 and most everything on my list still applies. A few additions and subtractions but all in all, not much has changed. I'm not that crazy about Jim and Pam anymore now that they've actually gotten together and the sexual tension has turned to married bickering. The spark is gone for me.

I am thankful for the kid-splosion as of late in our ever expanding family. This year we welcomed my niece and Goddaughter Lily, my daughter Alice, and Jacob; our first cousin once removed. In early January of 2011 we welcome our second niece who is yet to be named. So, I will refer to her as Carmen until she is officially not Carmen.




Other things to be thankful for:

The rise of crazy good television programming

A steady income

Our lovely townhouse

Immediate and Extended family are all healthy and still sane (as far as I can tell)

And of course, the freedom to blog.