I will show you how to come back with a line from the show for almost any situation. Sit back, relax and learn the art of alienating your friends and loved ones.
Scenario #1 - Your friend tells you she just got a promotion at her job and is moving away to Albuquerque. She's very excited yet nervous at the prospect of starting her life over again and meeting new friends. It's been a roller coaster of emotions and with a tear in her eye she hugs you and says she is confident you'll remain friends.
You: Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There’s a *New* Mexico?
Scenario #2 You've been dating your significant other for long enough. It's time to call it quits. You sit down at your computer to carefully write out your thoughts and feelings. The break up letter needs to be sensitive and respectful. After several minutes of staring at the blank screen you grab a post it note and jot down your letter.
You: Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You.
Scenario #3 - Your child is failing Science class. Normally, he is a very bright student and is beating himself up for not doing well in this subject. He says he is afraid that this will affect his chances of getting into a good school. Your son needs all the help he can get so he turns to you, his supportive parent.
You: Son, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Come back next time when I tell you the surefire way to never be invited to another wedding. Good night!
