Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Women aren't funny.

O.K. I'm sorry, that title is misleading. I should have said women from ages 16-22 aren't funny. Now before any young ladies who may be reading this throws a high heeled stilletto at me shouting "I am hilarious!", allow me to explain.

When you are a child, everything is funny. I mean, everything. Do you remember when the teacher called on Steven and accidentally called him Ryan? Yeah. Comedy gold. Then when you reach about 13 your humor slides a bit down the drain. Mom is embarrassing, your friends think your wardrobe is stupid, boys are capturing your attention. That kind of stuff. Now all of sudden everything is a tragedy. Life is serious, you guys. It's time to grow up and stop finding farts hysterical. You may still laugh at things with your friends, of course. Who wouldn't? You're allowed to, but only in the privacy of one's bedroom and ONLY to make fun of another girl.

Skip to 16 years old and now things are really getting serious. You're learning to drive. You're kissing boys (hopefully that is all you're doing, I am a mother now dammit.) Life is interesting but yet still very serious. You're only allowed to watch Monty Python at home, without ANY one else finding out. Lest you be called a nerd.

18-22 you are still gaining those much needed brain wrinkles. Oh, you may think you know everything but you are sorely mistaken. Boys are slowly (very slowly) becoming men and girlfriends are getting bitchier. What you thought you had figured out at 16 is now a far cry from you most certainly know about life at 19. You're allowed to regain some of that childlike humor but only on account that it doesn't offend or detract from your likeabilty to the opposite sex. A good sense of humor is like a bottle of red wine. Not legally yours yet.

I firmly believe that my full personality didn't actually surface until I was about 25. It's a shame that women are meant to feel like they need to hide who they really are in order to be viewed as attractive or worthy. If I can pass anything down to my daughters it's this: "Dare to not give a shit."

So, if any of that made any ounce of sense...then quite frankly I'm amazed.

Hello, My name is Erin. I'm 32 years old, married mother of two girls and we all think farts are just the tops.